blacksailsnby:

pov you’re diagnosed with daddy issues by paris hilton

(via woundthatswallows)

sylvienyas:

ha ha im so silly

(via nyancrimew)

souvlakigf:

After sex you see me roll over and go to balcony. You think ive gone for smoke due to my melancholic nature but I’ve opened sudoku.com evil level

(via utafumi)

welovethesedogs:

th3_s3nsitiv3_snack3r: just burst into tears after learning my preferred brand of onion dip would no longer be sold (╥ _ ╥)… but later felt true, human joy when i tasted the newest flavor sour of gummy bears (,,> ᴗ <,,) just another day in the life of me, the sensitive snacker

(via sluttynurse)

clevercrumbish:

DIRECTOR: Hey Tom Hardy here is some weird shit we’re gonna put on your face to hide your beautiful little kissy lips pretty boy mouth

TOM HARDY, ENTIRELY NOT LISTENING BECAUSE HE’S BUSY FORMULATING AN ACCENT NO HUMAN BEING ON EARTH HAS EVER FUCKING HAD: Sure boss

(via sukkaritari)

brinstarboy:

finalfantasy37:

we put your boyfriend in the wine btw. and the pasta

We were all out of arsenic and he was the most toxic thing we could find. Sorry about that.

(via judgejudyofficial)

ur-daily-inspiration:

(via bebisfilt)

greelin:

i don’t WANT to own and drive a vehicle‼️‼️‼️ *throws things across the room with my telekinesis*

(via theywontletmebeprincipal)

Will the owner of the blue Chevy Cavalier please stop fucking my wife

(via judgejudyofficial)

dykelliewilliams:

(via diabolicjoy)